Southeast Texas Christian Men’s Blog – Modern Day Dad by Daryl Fant

Southeast Texas Men’s Ministry

“Modern Day Dad” by Daryl Fant

On SETX Church Guide, we run a lot of Southeast Texas Christian women’s blogs.

We run a lot of pastor’s blogs, but sometimes it is nice to hear from the average Joe as well.

We’re periodically asked for Southeast Texas Christian men’s blogs from the perspective of “regular guys”.

We are launching “Modern Day Dad” to fill that void.

If you know other Southeast Texas Christian men’s blogs, we’d love to share them with our readers.

Today’s issue is Modern Day Dad – A Unique Time for Fatherhood.

For generations, a man’s responsibility to his family was to work. The amount of time Southeast Texas fathers spent working was seen as a direct reflection of how much he loved his family. Time spent working was the measuring stick for how good a husband and father a man was.

SETX dads did not do housework. Men were rarely seen at school plays or children’s doctors appointments.

By this measure, my own father would have qualified for the Dad’s Hall of Fame – he would have gone in on the first ballot. He worked shift work for a big Southeast Texas chemical plant that offered unlimited over time. He took it all. Sixty hours a week. Seventy hours a week. Eighty hours a week. There were whole months when it seemed like my father only came home to sleep. If he was working nights, then the kids were banished to the outdoors so he could sleep during the day.

I understand that every hour he spent at the plant he felt he was doing his duty to the family. He was earning the money that paid the mortgage, took care of the bills, sent us on summer vacations, and ensured we had lots of presents every Christmas.

Over time, my father found other ways to expand his fatherhood role. He was a Cubs Scout Master, and when our Boy Scout Master moved away, he took over that position. Other parents only dropped their kids off and disappeared, but he ran our meetings and supervised us on camp outs, all without cutting back at work. I’m sure he was exhausted.

Still, there were no hugs. In my experience (and that of my closest friends), Texas dads did not say, “I love you.” The rod was seldom spared.

If you’re a father in Southeast Texas, this was likely your example. This was the model we were provided by our fathers, uncles, grandfathers, and the fathers of our friends and relatives.

Boy, have times changed!

Southeast Texas dads wash clothes and dishes. We know where the vacuum cleaner is and how to use it. While we don’t exactly brag about it to our friends, many of us change diapers and iron our own shirts.

Today’s Southeast Texas fathers take time off of work for doctors appointments, school plays, and even make time to have lunch at our children’s schools. We hug our kids, give them baths, and remind them that we love them several times a week. The rod has a little dust on it. We talk to our children about happiness, faith, sex, relationships, life balance, even feelings.

We’re not our kids’ buddies – well, maybe a little bit! We are still their dads, but we are a new kind of Southeast Texas dad.

Want to create a lifetime memory? How about flying a kite at Crystal Beach or around Sam Rayburn?

We are the first generation living in this new paradigm, and we often have to make it up as we go.

I don’t have all of the answers, but I work at being a father, just like you do. I do my best to get better, and I will try to share what I learn with you right here on SETX Church Guide.

Have you learned a few tricks to being a Modern Day Dad?

Share them: SETXChurchGuide@gmail.com, or EM us about becoming a contributing Southeast Texas Christian blogger.