Fighting the Urge to Merge “Embracing the Single Life” Part 1: SETX Abstinence Support

Abstinence Ministry Southeast Texas

Armed and Virtuous Ministries

Abstinence is hard. For Southeast Texas parents, talking about abstinence with our children seems just as hard some days.

We’re sharing a three part series from April Anderson and Southeast Texas Abstinence Ministry Armed and Virtuous.

Join SETX Church Guide over the next three weeks for “Embracing the Single Life”.

Today we kick off the series with part 1:

Be honest, ladies, how much of your daily thoughts are consumed with a boyfriend, if you have one, or wishing for a boyfriend if you don’t? If these thoughts don’t rule your life, then good for you! However, many young women are overly occupied with finding or maintaining a “romantic relationship.” I know, because I’ve been there. I, too, felt the pressure growing up, and I’ve witnessed it many times since.

We come upon this pressure honestly. Movies paint the picture of success as meeting Mr. Right. School dances are designed to be attended with a date. TV dramas, both “reality” and otherwise, portray the ups and downs of the celebrities’ love lives. Finally, and what most affects us is the unspoken, but very real teenage belief, that having a boyfriend is essential to popularity. No wonder there’s such pressure to “hook up!”

Let’s examine the reality of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship in the life of a junior high or high school student. I’m sure you can find an example, either in your own experience, or that of a friend. Most girls get completely wrapped up in their boyfriend, to the exclusion of all else. They spend every free moment texting or on the phone with him. He becomes the subject of her every conversation, and the star of her facebook page. She spends less and less time with her girlfriends, because pleasing this guy has become the most important part of her life. Her family relationships can suffer. Any goals or interests she was pursuing take a backseat to him, and what she gains in return is regular opportunities, (and pressure) to get physically intimate and push the boundaries of her purity.

So . . . is this God’s best for us? Is this His perfect plan for our lives? Most likely, you’ll say “no,” but I can hear your next questions: “How do I avoid the pressure? How can I survive as a single teenager?” Let me first say this: I do not believe that dating or having a boyfriend is sinful, but dating relationships can easily take over your life. In addition, most girls enter such relationships for the wrong reasons. They want a hand to hold, a date to the dance, or a social “stamp” of approval. And, by the way, the guys are not generally in it for the right reasons either!

Over the next few weeks, we’re going to explore this topic. I will offer my humble suggestions, in hopes of helping you discover the blessings of singleness. I’m not going to make you feel guilty for having a boyfriend. Instead, I hope to give you some perspective about where dating fits within your life as a young woman of God.

So, what do you think? Is this an area where you struggle? What, specifically, is the most difficult part to deal with? Parents, what do you think? Leave us a comment, we’d love your input!

My name is April M. Anderson, and I’m just a girl with a story. God laid a burden on my heart to pray for my husband when I was in the sixth grade. I prayed and waited for him for six years, dated him for three, and we’ve been married for 15 years. By God’s grace, both my husband and I were virgins on our wedding day and we’ve been living out our “happily ever after” from that day on!

Armed and Virtous Abstinence Ministry encourages young Southeast Texas women to save themselves for the husbands God is preparing for them.

Do you find it tough to talk with your child about abstinence?

Join the club.

We want to share the message from Southeast Texas abstinence ministry “Armed and Virtuous” to assist you in making these important conversations easier.