Pride & Precipice- One Woman’s Journey

Christian Women’s Inspiration: “Pride and Precipice”

by Emily Loving Hopkins

On SETX Church Guide, we enjoy the opportunity to share real world testimony from other Southeast Texas Christians who are goign through walks similar to our own.

Today’s is from Emily Loving Hopkins, a young woman who grew up in Tyler County and who currently calls Lufkin home:

I have always thought of myself as a fairly unshakeable personality. Not afraid of unpredictable weather, not afraid to slap a flip-flop down on a crunchy critter, and certainly not bothered by our world, or what’s going on around me, or the people I casually walk by every day .

That all changed about a year ago, however, and now, after becoming a mother to the most adorable little princess, I find myself having heart palpitations at things I used to shrug at. Thunderstorms have now become massive escape plans to the nearest exit or at least the closest room with no windows, driving has made me question my decision to purchase a 4-door BMW sports car instead of a Hummer—the army issued model, and when a burglar decided to invade three homes in our neighborhood the other night I wanted to personally employ the NRA, CIA, and every S.W.A.T. team in the nation to guard my home.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I pray. I know what the Bible says about being anxious. I understand I shouldn’t be. I understand I can come to Him for rest. So, I pray. Then I worry. Then I pray. Then I fret. Then I pray, and, well, you can see where this tireless experience is going. Then, one day, after I’ve probably just made some lovely comment to the guy in front of me about throwing his trash out the window and how my child is going to have to inherit this world that he’s destroying, the Father gently reminds me, “Do not fret—it leads only to evil.” (Psalm 37:8) Evil?? Me?? I’m the one that’s trying to do right here. I’m the one that’s making sure I leave her a better world than was left for me. I’m the one—and then, I see the evil.

It’s pride. It’s me determined to get my own way. It’s me doing it on my own. It’s me calculating my circumstances without my Creator. Oswald Chambers put it this way, “Fussing always ends in sin. We imagine that a little anxiety and worry are an indication of how really wise we are; it is much more an indication of how really wicked we are.”

So, I take a step back, behind my Jesus, where I should be in the first place, and I pray. And then I pray again. And again, and as many times as it takes for me to dispel my wickedness and have the only fear that is allowed in the presence of the all powerful, ever faithful I AM. The holy reverence and knee-bending respect that then allows the Father to gently whisper a sweeter Psalm into my heart. “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.” (Psalm 34:8) And then, I rest easy, knowing that my precious babe will be well taken care of and protected, even when mommy can’t slay all the dragons. Why? Because I know I’m not strong enough. Because I’ve calculated God, and His power, into the equation. Because, let’s face it, rebuilding Alcatraz in a baby girl’s tiny pink bedroom would be a task I’d rather not tackle.

SETX Church Guide Guest Testimony from Emily Loving-Hopkins